EL CINCO DE MAYONESA

Why not. I like mayonnaise on almost everything. Here’s a fitting prize for today’s Cinco de Mayo celebrations: Four nights at the One&Only Palmilla resort in Cabo San Lucas, for two, with airfare. The sweeps is an enticement to get visitors to concierge.com, Conde Nast Traveler’s site, to fill out a rocking questionnaire on music and place. Fun and funny, with questions about music festivals and how important various artists are in contributing to his or her country’s image abroad. To wit, in the Caribbean category, you can weigh in on Desi Arnaz, Buena Vista Social Club, Celia Cruz and Cuba, Wyclef Jean and Haiti, Jimmy Cliff and Bob Marley and Jamaica.

You can skip the questionnaire and enter the sweeps directly if you like. The sweeps closes on May 31.

Speaking of Desi Arnaz, he and Lucy used to stay at the One&Only Palmilla, as did Bing Crosby and John Wayne. The website (linked above at the first reference) is not the most navigable thing. It’s for other One and Only properties around the world (Bahamas, Maldives, Dubai, Mauritious) as well as the one in Cabo.

Versions of Hell: I have a running list of personal versions of hell, situations that would kill me (as if I wasn’t dead enough already) if I had to endure them from here to eternity. One would be waking up every morning knowing that someone was going to throw me a surprise party but never knowing what time. Another would be waiting in line forever at the D.C. Motor Vehicle Department to renew your license because without it you won’t be able to board the plane you are taking the next day and not knowing if you are going to get the license. (This last one is based on a true story – mine.) Here’s a new one: Going on a scrapbooking cruise. To each his own, but whoa. That’s one combo from Hades for this scrappy, mishappy keeper of my son’s childhood photos and mementos. Port of call me crazy.

Three more versions of hell: No music. No travel. No sweeps.