THOUGHTS | VIVA LAS VEGAS SWEEPSTAKES

I got a call yesterday from someone trying to get me to participate in a sweepstakes for a trip to Las Vegas.

I was all ears. I get these calls pretty regularly, usually for time shares in or near Orlando, and I never play. Nothing against Orlando -- one of my best friends in the world lives just outside Orlando, really and truly -- but Las Vegas sounded much more exciting than Orlando. For one thing, I've never been. For another, I’ve been thinking about Las Vegas lately. It keeps cropping up in conversations, for instance, at the funeral of a dear friend’s mother. And a certain Scotsman will be doing standup there later this month, at the Tropicana.

If I were flush, I’d consider flying out for the show. Alas, I am not flush right now, at least not weekend-getaway flush. I suppose that’s all the more reason to go to Las Vegas. I could play a few games of chance, hit the slot machines. Just what is a win there? Four strawberries? Then, in addition to the casinos, I could soak up the culture, the endless examples of organized excess. My sense from my perch nine states (as the crow flies) and thousands of miles away is that Las Vegas is the victim of accidental tourism, the result being an inadvertent conceptual theme park. The theme: the decline of the Roman empire, American style.

I know it’s fashionable these days to compare our current state of decline to ancient Rome. I know the comparison isn’t perfect. There are plenty of differences between what we’re witnessing today and the demise of the Roman Empire. For instance, there was no calling waiting.

Back on the phone, the Sweepstakes Lady could barely start describing the contest before my call waiting started sounding. I knew who it was: a friend from my son's school. We were supposed to meet for coffee on the half hour. I wanted to take the call, only I've never learned how to use the call waiting on the phone I purchased several months ago. So I had to take a gamble. I asked the sweepstakes woman if she could call back, pretty please. She said, rather unconvincingly, that she would.

So far, she hasn't.

What’s that expression? When my ship came in, I was at the airport.

When the Sweepstakes Lady called, I was confirming a previous engagement at Starbucks.


PHOTO CREDIT: Bobby Deal / Photoshow / Dreamstime.com